What are the Biggest Mistakes Professionals Currently Make When Networking and Negotiating?

In July, Doug Gentilcore published a book entitled Getting from the Bar to the Boardroom: 25 Proven Sales Techniques for Relationship Building, Networking, Negotiating, and Dealmaking in which he shares his firsthand experiences and knowledge for developing a promising business career. He clearly explains why any business professional, whether in sales or not, will, at some point, have to persuade an individual or group to change their current course of action in favor of a new one. 

I had the chance to speak with Doug this past month, and I asked him: "What are the biggest mistakes professionals make currently make when networking and negotiating?” Here is his full answer:

There are many things that can inhibit your success when it comes to negotiating and networking.  In my experience, allowing emotion to enter into your process is the most detrimental to achieving your goals.  

Too many people use passion and emotion interchangeably, but as I say in my book, "With passion also comes respect for others and their opinions.  Emotion is usually accompanied by closed-mindedness and disrespect." Every poor decision or overreaction I have ever made in my life has been emotional.  Even if I am faced with a challenging situation, my passion allows me to remain driven, logical, and positive. It is important to understand the effects that emotion can have on your mental state, decision-making process, and ultimately, your success. 

Whether it is a client you are hoping to sign or a contact that you need to make to win a deal, there will be barriers and challenges you face to accomplish your goal.  In order to properly assess, plan and execute to conquer these impediments, you must check your emotion “at the door” so to speak.  A customer challenging you during a negotiation is not a personal attack, it is a chance to demonstrate your ability to deliver when it means the most, and your client will remember how you react. To again quote my book, “Behind passion there is reason and logic, behind emotion is ignorance."

In short, don’t be emotional and as a result, ignorant.  This is a negotiation, not a prize fight and logic will always keep you on the proper path.  To prevent an emotional outburst, you must have a solid accounting of your performance and mental state, so be sure to check in on both and even ask your colleagues and friends for their assessment.  Being too close to the situation will cloud your judgment and everyone can use another set of eyes and ears from time to time.

What do you think of Doug's perspective? Have there been times when emotions have ruined an important negotiation or affected a networking opportunity for you?

Career Success -- What Are the Basic Factors?

At the beginning of May, Barry A. Franklin published a very interesting book -- entitled GPS for Success: Skills, Strategies, and Secrets of Superachievers -- which analyzes and highlights the foundational factors underlying future career success. Throughout the book, Barry provides specific examples and inspirational stories highlighting 10 critical behavioral skills for success. 

When I spoke with Barry just this past week, I asked him: “What are the basic factors that underly career success? Why do most people miss them?” Here is his complete answer:

After 10 years of undergraduate and graduate education, ultimately culminating in a Ph.D., it seemed somewhat paradoxical to me that virtually no college course had prepared me for the world of work. Accordingly, I began reading everything I could find on achieving career success and learned how ill-prepared I really was!

The critical knowledge and experiential perspectives I lacked included: understanding the power of relationships, positive associations, and collaboration; essential people skills; goal setting; the “boomerang effect” of serving others; dealing with setbacks; the virtues of patience and persistence; the potency of preparedness; writing and speaking expertise; understanding the laws of attraction and sow and reap; the dividends of organizational membership; and, the #1 success strategy -- taking action.

My research identified four foundational factors underlying overwhelming career success. These included: love what you do; realize that to a large extent, you make your own luck; take 100 percent responsibility for your setbacks and achievements in life; and admirably serve others.

Finally, why do most people miss them? Unfortunately, these underappreciated “soft skills” are seldom even touched on in college curricula that equip students with broad life and career proficiencies that empower them to contribute meaningfully to their communities and the workplace.

Perhaps the late professor Randy Pausch, author of  The Last Lecture, summed it up best when he said, “It’s not about how to achieve your dreams, it’s how to lead your life. If you lead your life the right way, the karma will take care of itself, and the dreams will come to you.” In so many ways, GPS for Success was written to fulfill this objective, to enable the dreams of others and provide guidance about how to live your life.

What do you think of Barry's perspective? Did you his recommendations for future career success accurate and inspiring? Are there any factors missing? What would you add?

What Is Missing from the Current Leadership Mindset?

This past June, Payal Nanjiani, published a thought-provoking book entitled Success Is Within: The 21 Ways for Achieving Results, Prosperity, and Fulfillment by Changing Your Leadership Mindset, which argues that success depends on changing one’s mindset in key ways. She essentially encourages business professionals to "mind the mind." 

I spoke with Payal this month and asked her, "What Is missing from the current leadership mindset?" Here is her complete response:

We are in an age where companies struggle to compete in today’s fast-paced, complex global economy where information about leadership, success, and business is right at the tip of our fingers. Resources are bountiful and communication is swift. Despite all of this, when we look around us, we only see a handful of people that reach the top of success in corporations and businesses. These are the people who achieve their goals and progress ahead. They lead fulfilled career lives. They not only survive, but they thrive in this challenging global economy.

The reason for this gap between the “successful few” and the “unsuccessful many” is not a matter of lack of passion, hard work, or training. Rather, the gap exists because the “unsuccessful many” have not applied the wisdom of the right techniques to achieve success. We all possess this wisdom, but we seldom tap into the right insight at the right time and the right place in our work-life. Tapping into the success within our selves makes all the difference in our end results. Wisdom must guide our thinking, our karma (actions), and our mindset. 

"Success Is Within" is my mantra. My new book presents 21 ways to activate this mantra, to achieve the success that is already within our selves. We must all claim the power of this mantra so that we activate wisdom. We must condition our minds to take control over our karmas (actions) so that we achieve our desired results. 

During a time when businesses and brands are being disrupted with great speed, our mindset is the only element that will help us navigate and define our place in a complex corporate world. Mindset is that hidden aspect within ourselves that shows up in our results. If we tap into it, then it gives us an edge over others. I believe that we are all destined to win regardless of our circumstances. We can all become the “successful few."

Whatever comes and goes in our professional lives, we can take strength from within ourselves, trust ourselves, and achieve unstoppable success. Once we take this strength, we achieve what we want and deserve: we achieve results, prosperity, and fulfillment. We become leaders who have changed our mindsets to move from becoming the “unsuccessful many” to become the “successful few.”

What do you think about Payal's ideas on attuning our minds with specific actions?  Do you agree that "success comes from external factors" is a prevailing myth?